making moves
the new place...
I was talking to Zak a little while ago
about twitter and he quipped, “This
is pretty much the end of personal websites, huh?”
and I pretty much agreed with him. I mean, I still
find having a personal website very useful,
especially for my acting work, but as far as
sharing what’s going and voicing opinions and all
that, twitter’s proven to be a really great tool.
That being said, I still should be doing a better job
of keeping this page updated! As usual, life has been
on overdrive, the most obvious result of this
hyperactivity being that Whitney and I have finally
moved to a new place. Honestly, I think a lot of
people were getting tired of hearing us talk about
hoping to move--we have been complaining about the
hunt for probably eight or so months! But we loved
our old place and had no reason to make any real
major compromises when it came to what we wanted out
of a new home...and then this place comes along, not
a block and a half away, and, well, we basically had
to take it. We’re still renting, which, honestly, is
fine for me right now, owning sounds like a pain in
the ass and I doubt we can afford anything resembling
the place we are renting now.
The living room...slowly getting into shape
So, things are good. Work
is super challenging right now, as I immerse myself
into a totally new paradigm for our products (it’s a
pain but it’s a good thing), and my Norton
Table character made an appearance at our
global sales and marketing conference in Las Vegas.
It was a lot of fun, I got up on stage and basically
introduced the senior staff in the consumer business,
making jokes about each of them as I went down the
list. What was crazy is how little I could actually
prepare for the piece! I had a few notes about each
person, but really, as I was standing backstage, I
really didn’t have that much to go on, I was really
relying on thoughts coming to me once I got in front
of people. It was crazy--like, it goes against
everything I’ve learned regarding rehearsal and
preparation, but I have been doing these interview
shows so often that I realize that once I hop into
character, thoughts, reactions and jokes actually
come to mind much more quickly than if I try to
anticipate and plan everything out. I am a bit
nervous--I certainly can’t depend on things coming to
mind, but it was nice that everything clicked that
one time.
The acting front has been irritatingly slow. I had a
great pilot audition a few months ago, but nothing
came from it, which doesn’t really matter because I
don’t think the show is going to be picked up anyway.
I have jumped back into acting class with Brian Reise, which has been
great, and have been attending quite a few
workshops with casting directors at ITA. Basically, I am trying to
shake things up a bit, because whatever I have
been doing for the past year or so just has not
been working.
I’ve gleaned a few things from some of the workshops
that I wanted to get down on “paper”. If you are an
actor, you might find these tips useful. If not, you
may find them interesting and useful in terms of
keeping things in focus when interacting with folks.
- When auditioning, focus on the person you are interacting with. Like, really, it sounds so obvious, but it can be really hard to focus when you are in a room with a lot of people watching you, not to mention dealing with the camera, the monitor, etc. If you are being filmed, what is important is not entertaining the folks in the room, but making sure that you nail the performance as seen by the camera. The best way to do this, it seems, is to focus, intensely, on the person you are reading with, really listening, really engaging with them--this focus will be picked up by the camera and be seen by the producers. This was a big change for me--I usually entertain the room, you know? By grounding myself with the other person, it helps keep the scene moving from an honest place.
- If your character is asking a question, realize that this question is often the key to the character and, probably, the scene. Figure out why the character is asking it, understand the implications of the answer to that question--whether or not you get an actual answer. When the character is asking a question, the character is admitting a need--the character wants that answer, he has an intention to get that information. Like it or not, that old saw about needing an intention for your scene still holds up and, if committed to, will give the scene a strong foundation. I was trained to ask, “What do I want?” at the beginning of every scene (some teachers suggest asking that for every line) and I think I stopped doing that at some point. The scene is there for a reason--TV and film are so expensive that it would be cut unless it was absolutely necessary--that reason is the key to expressing that character as best as you can.
- When you are auditioning for a part, for those 3-4 minutes, that part is yours. No one else has it--you have booked it for that period of time Don’t think of the audition as a try out--it’s the job, it’s the actual opportunity to do the piece. I had some teachers insist we drop the word “audition” and replace it with the word “job.” This can be a useful tactic, not only because it helps you focus on the piece more, but it takes out the “this is just my best try at the part” factor. The audition, the interview, is you--it’s you doing the part, it’s you on the set, it’s you during lunch, it’s you working with the director, it’s you being hired.
I will add more items to this list as I go, but those are the first ideas that come to mind. I go on so many commercial auditions that I think I have started to be much less stressed about them, which is technically a good thing, but I think that it might have lessened the stakes a bit. I don’t know--I really don’t...commercials are just so quick, so specific; you don’t even get the script until you show up and then your audition is not so much a scene but a quick situation. It’s tough.
From the Hotel Laguna, in Laguna Beach
Much coming in the next
few weeks. I will be up in San Francisco for the
Apple Developer Conference,
I’ve got a wedding coming up, Ravi’s planning a
big birthday, and, of course SDCC is coming up in July. My
weekly article at iFanboy is back on Wednesdays,
and I am working on at least two murmur articles as well. I’ve
also submitted three treatments to a
producer...we’ll just have to keep pressing on.
PS - My friend Matt Ferrucci has just started his new
webseries, Real Men Real Issues, and
he’s doing a great job adding new content to the
show on a regular basis, unlike this website.
Check it out and see what you think.
Time is flying (literally)
Lobby floor at the Encore in Las Vegas
I am sitting here in a
Caribou Coffee near Plain City, Ohio, watching with
no small amount of dread all of my work email
downloading to my machine. I am supposed to be on
vacation, but I can't connect to my work email from
my sister in law's place, so I thought I would check
it out...oy, what a mistake--I have over 130 emails
so far, and it's still sucking them in. Totally
frustrating.
When I was at Razorfish, I went on this rather
awesome leadership training program (I know how it
sounds, but hey, I got to to Sweden!) during which we
took a ton of courses, one of which was effective
communications. I'll spare you the details, but the
most effective was face to face...the least was
email. I get over 1400 emails a month from work.
Anyway, I'm having a pretty good trip so far if I
choose to ignore how long it took to get here (17
hours). We had two cancelled flights, so I ended up
going from LA to Phoenix to Las Vegas to Charlotte to
Columbus. We got to spend 6 hours in Vegas, so we
went to a few hotels (Whit wanted to check out the
Encore, which was pretty nice) and ate and walked
around.
and time passes.
Well, now I am in the air heading to Tokyo. It's been
frustrating, I have to say---I just have had zero
time to update this particular blog. I need to figure
out how to channel my myspace updates to this page--I
was uploading a lot of photos throughout my visit to
Ohio and it was, honestly, just easier to share what
was going on that way (damn you, Facebook! You and
your convenience.) And then, with the weekly
iFanboy article, ongoing Norton blogs, and more work
for murmur.com...I'm just writing everywhere but
here.
So far, the Tokyo trip is smooth, but sadly I am on
United. While they didn't charge me for checking a
bag, the food is awful--no surprise there, just
disappointment--and now they charge for drinks! Not
to sound like an alcoholic, but, I mean, wasn't that
one of the fun things about flying international? So
weak. Flying a US airline just sucks now and it will
probably never get better.
I was in Tokyo two years ago to talk to various Mac
press and, like I promised, I am back to talk about
our latest offering. Unlike last last time, however,
Whit's not coming, which makes it not as fun--- we
travel really well together and she has a knack for
finding fun activities and neighborhoods. We went
through the guidebooks last night so I have a good
idea of where I am going to be (this super, super hip
hotel in Shibuya, the Cerulean Tower, a few blocks
away from my office). I get in Tuesday afternoon, so,
I hope to get some sleep here so I can out at night
around the hood.
Pete, Whitney, Kim, Cindy...and Walter
Our visit to Ohio was a lot of fun, if shorter than
we wanted thanks to US Airways canceling our
flights--we were about 17 hours late. It was
crazy--every other carrier was flying into Columbus,
so we think they cancelled the flights so there would
be no chance of their planes being snowed in the day
after. So, instead of flying to Phoenix and then
continuing on the same plane to Columbus, we waited
four hours to fly to Vegas, where we found that they
cancelled our second flight, so we were in Vegas for
7 hours and then went to Charlotte, then to Columbus
that next morning. We made a night of it, though; I
put our bags in a locker and we took a trip to the
Encore hotel and proceeded to make our way to the
Mirage. It was actually a lot of fun, so it wasn't a
total waste of time. Still, though--I can't see
myself paying for another US Airways flight in this
lifetime.
Seeing Whit's family was a blast, though. I am very
much myself with them and everyone gets along quite
well. I met my nephew Walter (almost two years old),
which was fun. Where we were in Ohio (outside of
Columbus much of the time) could not be more
different than LA, which was refreshing, for the most
part (though I think we drove more there than I do in
LA, since everything is spaced so far apart). We had
our "second Xmas," complete with tree and turkey
dinner, and as I looked outside at the snow, I felt
very fortunate.
The rundown:
- My brother Chris leaves Wednesday morning to start
bootcamp for the US Navy. He will be gone for two
months, basically unreachable, as, as he puts it,
"has every shred of individuality stripped away" and
turned into a sailor. He was pretty nervous about it,
but he's more excited now. It should be crazy
interesting to hear his stories--we are not a
military family by any stretch so it's all new to us.
- Acting has been slow, thanks in part to my having
to be away from LA for two weeks. Basically, if I am
gone for two weeks I am out of commission for three
or even four (doesn't do me any good to audition for
a part that I am not going to be around to film). I
had a really solid audition for a great part on a
Nickelodeon show, but I have not heard back yet, so I
assume I did not get a callback.
- Work is good, but I am still overwhelmed with
emails, as I mentioned above. It's super
frustrating,and since I can't connect to anything
while I am in the air (a good thing, for the most
part), I am sure I will be flooded when I get back.
Still, going to Tokyo is a huge perk and I am not
complaining, just whining.
- Writing has been capsized by the traveling and
online writing commitments, but I added two
characters to a show that I am writing that really
round the whole thing out. I have this idea that I
honestly think could really be successful on
commercial television. I am excited about it because
the set up itself is a platform on which one can just
write story after story. I just need to get the pilot
written and sketch out the first part of the season.
Then...well, I am not sure; I guess I send it to my
agent and shop it around. But now that I have the
cast rounded out, I feel like all I gotta do is lock
myself away for a week and bang out the script. (And
yes, I realized that I am actively not doing that
now.)
Okay--let's get this posted. I’ll try to do daily
Tokyo updates.
weekend thoughts
I have been thinking a lo
about TIME these days, which perhaps is no surprise.
Time passes and that's that. It's just been going
very, very quickly, as I am sure you are noticing. I
remarked to Zak this morning that I feel like I
overslept in 2008 and I am about 15-20 minutes late
for everything.
As I was falling asleep I was kind of thinking about
acting and well, you know, how I fit in with the rest
of the community here in LA. There's this young actor
on a show that Whit really likes that has a role
that's a real career starter. He's pretty good, he's
good looking, and he's intelligent (he used to be an
accountant, quit to be a model and actor, and now
he's got a great series regular role on a primetime
show)--and he's 26. I'll be honest--I'm not 26. I
don't even want to be 26, but you know, you hear
about how LA is obsessed with youth, blah blah
blah--and I guess that's true, the extremes are
certainly out there with all the plastic surgery and
that kind of thing. But it's also just a place where
young people gravitate towards, not unlike San
Francisco and New York. You just kind of notice it a
bit sometimes. I auditioned for a role to be a
co-host of a Tech show where I was supposed to be a
tech expert who knows how to help businesses with
their technical infrastructure, who reads
Wired magazine, who knows tech culture and
what's happening in the tech world. I was basically
auditioning to be me, right? The audition, which was
just an interview with legitimately technical
questions (what kind of freeware security software is
out there? what kind of backup infrastructure should
small businesses think about? what kinds of machines
would you recommend?) went great--this is my
life--but I also knew that they were looking for
someone in their late 20s. And I told them that I was
not in my late 20s and also told them that they
didn't want someone in their late 20s, that they
wouldn't know as much as I do. And it's true! I defy
the vast majority of actors in LA to setup an office
in afternoon. But if I don't get the role, I bet I
know why...!
Of course, of course, in many ways, age is an
illusion. Charisma, energy and optimism can really
shift people's perceptions. But every once in awhile,
you think about it, at least in this profession. The
flipside, of course, is that as you get older, you
tend to reflect on your choices and your history and
wonder, "was this right?" It's useless, of
course--but those thoughts can sneak into your head
as your brain settles into sleep. I thought about it
last night, how I have definitely been at the party
and showed up at the right time, but I feel sometimes
like I was in one room having a great time talking to
people, then hearing uproarious laughter in the room
next door. Once I finally made it into that room, the
joke was over and though the people were still there,
things had moved on. But still, the party's great,
right? Life is good.
I have been thinking a
lot lately about the difference between "hope" and
"expectation". I was actuall talking with my mom last
night about this and we basically discussed how
expectation, as a rule, is an illusion, a situation
or reality that basically can never come true as one
imagines. Take the typical New Year's Eve
dilemma--oftentimes, people will have expectations of
the crazy party they finally decided on, or whatever
plan they made, and most of the time, it will go
differently (better or worse) and the expectation
will probably not be fulfilled. However,
hope is far more general and a lot more
open-ended. You can hope you have a good time, but
you are not expecting a good time, and the stakes
become lower, more manageable. My mom suggested that
expectations, being so much more personally specific,
are driven by the ego, which makes a lot of sense. We
also discussed this in acting class, where Brian
remarked how he thought it was crazy for actors to
come into LA expecting to have a career just open up
to them with in a year or two, that things would just
work out and all would be great. You can
hope things work out, but you certainly need
to be patient, certainly need to relax with the
expectations so your hope can be maintained. I also
think that it's been really interesting how Obama has
been using the concept of hope to rally his
supporters--it's easier for groups of people to agree
on hope than expectations.
Ah, Friday morning thinking.
I have some cool things
happening this weekend, but I am going to keep it a
secret. Believe me, if it all works out, it's gonna
be very, very cool and actually a nice checkmark in
my little "to do in my life" book. Should have
something to tell you in a few weeks.
What else? Oh, I am reading Pictures at a Revolution by
Mark Harris. It's awesome.
Oh, and my uncle Toby just came out with a new book.
He's been getting a lot of press on this. Let's
see...the book is called Our Story Begins: New and Selected
Stories. The press has been incredible.
Check out this interview on KQED's Forum and this article from the LA Times Book Review. It's always
amazing, really, to reflect on just how amazing a
writer he is. It's really been amazing to watch
his career and talent and legacy, really, grow as
time has gone by. Very inspiring and proof, real
proof, that if you just stick to it, you
can do what you want.
Okay! two posts at once. I've got a lot of write
today so I will end this here. Have a great
weekend...
red eyes
Zak and I playing
records a while ago, probably 1999 or something.
I wasn't working out back then, I guess.
A varied and harried day
today. Work is stacking up and it's all manageable,
there are just a lot of things happening and it's
tempting to just sit back and let other people drive
some of these efforts, but I am not that tempted and,
anyway, I have an opinion about it and I want to get
in the mix. It's good to be busy, but just once, it
would be nice to be busy building a set or painting a
very large painting or building a house or something
more physical. My eyes are red not because of
allergies or anything fun, I am just staring at
screens really intensely right now. Stupid.
I got gently freaked out when I read that basically
when you turn 30, it's half time, life is basically
half over. At 30, your major organs start to decline,
etc--it's all here. And, like, okay, I
know--what's the point of worrying about growing
older? Time, remember, is the absolute variable,
uncontrollable and persistent, literally nothing
one can do about it. We can improve the moment,
sure, but we can't slow the sucker down. Now, I am
not really freaking out, but I do admit,
I really dislike the idea of growing older and
pretty much have been that way all my life. I want
to say it's related to not wanting to miss out on
things, but...it's more about making sure I do
what I want to do, to get what I want out of life.
It does remind me of what Ravi said about life
being a bottomless pit, where you keep adding
experience after experience but are never
satisfied, and kind of like what Steph was
mentioning, how there is never a plateau in life,
where you get to a certain place and it's all
clear and easy from that point on. So life is an
uphill battle as you slowly slide downhill.
Now, I do feel an artificial stress about this
because of the acting career, I will readily admit. I
am constantly reminded, several times a day, of
someone younger getting some movie or booking some
role, etc. Yesterday while I was waiting around for a
callback, I listened to the other guys, all clearly
older than me (3-5 years), discussing the parts they
didn't get, the house they couldn't afford, the short
films they were working on, etc, etc, and I gotta
admit, it's distressing, you know? This one guy was
talking about how it was getting so slow that he was
looking for a regular job, that kind of thing. I
mean, I have a regular job that I actually
like, and I am always talking about how grateful I am
to have a life like this, but it really did drive it
home. Acting is not a good fit for people who have to
responsible to other people. So rough. And it's 10
times harder for women, absolutely, so it's selfish
of me to even worry about it, to be honest. My
thoughts return to my upcoming visit to Santa Clara,
where I have to talk to the students about the
business of acting. I mean, I remember when older
folks would warn me about how hard it was, how
impossible it was to make a living, etc, and
thinking, "Yeah, maybe it's hard for you, but [for
some reason] I'll do okay." Well, you know what? I
am doing okay--it's just been a very
different path to this "okay" than I imagined.
Such is life, right? You have expectations of the
future, expectations that are not based on any kind
of real fact or experience, and then you get let down
when things don't go according to this made up plan?
You gotta let it go..Stumbling Upon Happiness
talks about this in detail, actually, I need to
finish it.
The one thing I know I will talk while I am there is
the importance of actually taking care of your
physical person. Not only because of the obvious
benefits of a healthier heart and looking fit and
healthy and basically better on camera/on stage, but
because taking care of yourself is actually something
you can control and be proactive about in the acting
business. I may not be able to control whether or not
I am going to book any of the last three spots I just
got called back for, but I sure as hell know I can
make spinning tonight so I don't get all chubby and
tired looking for future auditions. The illusion of
control, I think, is something that artists of all
kinds need. Maybe not full control of everything, but
something related to their craft. Painters
can control their brushes and pencils so their tools
will not fail them when inspiration strikes. Writers
can control where and when they write. Musicians
needs to make sure their instruments are in tune and
ready to go. We can control aspects of our lives so
that when opportunity strikes, we are ready. For
actors and dancers and singers, we rely, heavily on
our mind, our breath and our physicality. So, when I
look at that picture above, I can at least appreciate
the fact that even though I was younger and my
internal organs were supposedly more efficient or
whatever, I know for a fact that I am in the best
physical and mental shape of my life, because I work
out 4-5 times and do yoga 3 hours a week. And,
happily, I don't do it because I have to,
but because I want to--I actually really enjoy it, it
makes me happy and fulfills very important aspects of
my life...and that's the best way to approach any
task, whether it's writing an article, singing a
song, sketching a face, or teaching a class.
Speaking of which, it's time to get back to that
work.



