Once a geek...
Tokyo Taxi
I had a
funny audition experience yesterday that I thought I
would write down. I got this in my email box the
night before (this is how I learn about auditions, I
get an email the night before):
The following contains meeting information for:
<<Spot Name>>
-----
Client:
Mike
Romo
Date:
Thursday,
February 19, 2009
Time:
3:00
PM
Status:
E-Mail
Client
Role:
Basketball
Players
Comedy.
Comedy. Comedy. Should not look athletically
inclined. These are buddies hanging out on the
weekend. Rate: 3 x scale
Wardrobe:
Lame
workout clothes: if possible sweat shorts, t-shirts,
socks pulled up to their shins, sweatbands on wrists
and head.
...
-----
Sounds pretty
straightforward, right? Basically look like the guy
from Juno and nail the audition, right? So, I got my
wardrobe together (I had to pilfer Whit’s sock drawer
to get her knee highs that she uses for
rollerskating), went to work, ran out of work at
lunch, go to the audition, changed in my car, and ran
up to the audition hall.
It was hilarious. Waiting to go in were a bunch of
guys in workout clothes. About half of the guys
looked a little like me (and assorted
variants)--white nerdy looking guys who just looked
like pathetic nerds. The other half were 7’ tall
actual basketball players, who were looking
totally buff and super sporty, and who were basically
real life jocks. So, all of a sudden, we were back in
grammar school--all the nerds were kind of hanging
out with each other--even though we were not
really nerds, at least not all of us, we
were just guys dressed up as nerds, but it
didn’t matter, the social construct just kicked right
in. It was hilarious. I mean, I honestly haven’t felt
that kind of vibe since high school. Oh, there was no
bullying or anything like that, everyone was very
nice to each other, but we were all cracking up, like
obviously some guys got one breakdown, but there was
apparently an “in shape, good looking, athletic
build” breakdown that a bunch of us certainly did
not get.
I went in with four guys who were all about my height
plus one African American guy who was at least 7’
tall, totally amazingly good looking, played pro
basketball for three years, like, total amazing
athlete guy. Huge arms, the whole thing. Really nice,
super nice and just laughing at how mismatched we all
were. When we did our photos, it was him first
(Sheldon), and then the camera person had to bring
the camera down a full foot to focus on me, with my
polka dot headband and “Oscar the Grouch” t-shirt and
she literally just laughed outloud. It was classic.
The audition was fun, though--I mean, who knows
what’s going to happen with it, given the two
totally different categories they called
in--and that, in the end, is what matters, really.
That’s all you can do, really, is just enjoy the
process, because wanting a job from it is
just going to set you up for disappointment in the
first place. I had four auditions (one straight to
callback) last week, and I didn’t get a single
callback--for parts that I was perfect for, on
auditions that were no different than the ones I have
booked from--and I must admit, it was a little
disruptive, emotionally. Like, I had no idea why I
didn’t get called back, and even though I keep
telling myself not to think about it...I still think
about it, of course I do, you know? That Thursday
after yoga class, when I didn’t have any messages in
my voicemail...ugh, that stung. Mildly
freaked me out all Friday.
This Wednesday we had class, it was on camera “bad
guy/bad girl” night, and I played what was basically
the action cop breaking up a hostage situation,
24 style. I did as best as I could, and
technically, I succeeded in establishing the right
angle (I had to look towards my left but be looking
straight ahead and to the right, so it all looked
very dynamic), but when I came on, every one just
laughed. Now, it makes sense--it’s a ridiculous
situation and I don’t usually play this stuff, and,
from certain angles, I tend to remind people of
Paul Giamatti, since my eyes
were kind of bugging out a bit and I had this kind
of grimace going--but it was, I admit, just a
little frustrating...you want to be able
to do this stuff, you want to have a look
that can be used for any kind of job, and
it’s possible, you just have to keep yourself up.
For instance, right now I need a haircut and I
need to drink less coffee and get more sleep so I
can fend of the dark circles under my eyes. Like,
I can see that being a problem, especially with
bad lighting, so I just have to do it.
It’s an interesting time now. There is not a lot of
work for anyone, and the work that is out there is
often going to much more established names (I saw an
ad with from Alan Tudyk from
Firefly and from Dulé Hill from The West
Wing and almost did a spit-take--why do those
guys need to be doing DirecTV commericals?!) and
it can be irritating, but so what? A lot less
irritating than losing your job and having two
kids to feed.
Onward!