Old New York headshot. Black and white, natch.

Had interesting morning. I am going for a pre-read, which is basically an audition for an audition. It's what happens when you don't have a lot of theatrical credits but you have enough going on and solid enough representation for a casting director to spend some time with you. This is pre-read is for a series regular role on a fairly high profile (in LA, at least) pilot that has a few notable names and the part is one of those parts that an actor like me is well suited for. Not huge, but fun, and, if done consistently well, the kind that you can (slowly) build a career with. I am sure there are lots of people going for it, but again, it's about commitment and hope, not about expectations and anyway, I'm not writing about the part, I'm writing about the coach that I saw this morning.

I have been having a good time and keeping my chops up with my weekly acting class, which has been terrifically effective in getting me to relax and get out of the way so I can do the actual work. It has provided me with a vast array of experiences so I when I get to certain kinds of auditions and meetings, I won't be all nervous and freaky. It's a great tool for a working actor, and, as such, is inherently different than the more "classical" acting classes, where character and motivations and intentions and actions are discussed, analyzed and sculpted, all from the actor's own experience and history. The coach I had early this morning (before work!) was very much the kind of teacher that I was used to seeing long ago, before I came to New York, so I admit, it was really an adjustment. I was even at times finding myself resistant to some of the questions we were going over, like when trying to figure out what I wanted from this line or what my action was going to be for that line. But I had done it before, right? This was my entire acting experience for years before I came to LA, so I found myself settling and really working on the various beats.

It was really exhilarating. Acting is trippy because you are asked to feel and say things in ways that are so specific that you do these mental and emotional backflips trying to incorporate the intentions. I know, this sounds all touchy feely, but, that's exactly it, right? Touching parts of your experience, feeling what's going on, and then letting that work inhabit the moment you are portraying. It was hard, to the point there would be times when I would get a little direction, and my brain would just go into overdrive while I stared into space. It's like my Mac when the fans start coming on. It doesn't move, but it gets really hot and then the fans come on, whiirrrrrr, and you know something is happening.

The end result of my session is an audition that will be much more interesting to watch, much more grounded in life, and should add an angle, a series of colors, to someone that could be just regarded as "strange co-worker of main character." It was intense, but it felt so damn good to work in this way again. I had forgotten about how analyzing a script really is like being an emotional conductor, trying to bring all these elements into harmony, to make sure they build, peak, and fade just at the right time to make the scene really hum.

We'll see how it goes. What's good is that I am ready for this audition in a way that goes beyond technique, beyond comfort, beyond commodity. Now I just have to trust the training and let all this just come to focus this evening for my audience of one.

Tags: acting