I have been thinking a lo about TIME these days, which perhaps is no surprise. Time passes and that's that. It's just been going very, very quickly, as I am sure you are noticing. I remarked to Zak this morning that I feel like I overslept in 2008 and I am about 15-20 minutes late for everything.

As I was falling asleep I was kind of thinking about acting and well, you know, how I fit in with the rest of the community here in LA. There's this young actor on a show that Whit really likes that has a role that's a real career starter. He's pretty good, he's good looking, and he's intelligent (he used to be an accountant, quit to be a model and actor, and now he's got a great series regular role on a primetime show)--and he's 26. I'll be honest--I'm not 26. I don't even want to be 26, but you know, you hear about how LA is obsessed with youth, blah blah blah--and I guess that's true, the extremes are certainly out there with all the plastic surgery and that kind of thing. But it's also just a place where young people gravitate towards, not unlike San Francisco and New York. You just kind of notice it a bit sometimes. I auditioned for a role to be a co-host of a Tech show where I was supposed to be a tech expert who knows how to help businesses with their technical infrastructure, who reads Wired magazine, who knows tech culture and what's happening in the tech world. I was basically auditioning to be me, right? The audition, which was just an interview with legitimately technical questions (what kind of freeware security software is out there? what kind of backup infrastructure should small businesses think about? what kinds of machines would you recommend?) went great--this is my life--but I also knew that they were looking for someone in their late 20s. And I told them that I was not in my late 20s and also told them that they didn't want someone in their late 20s, that they wouldn't know as much as I do. And it's true! I defy the vast majority of actors in LA to setup an office in afternoon. But if I don't get the role, I bet I know why...!

Of course, of course, in many ways, age is an illusion. Charisma, energy and optimism can really shift people's perceptions. But every once in awhile, you think about it, at least in this profession. The flipside, of course, is that as you get older, you tend to reflect on your choices and your history and wonder, "was this right?" It's useless, of course--but those thoughts can sneak into your head as your brain settles into sleep. I thought about it last night, how I have definitely been at the party and showed up at the right time, but I feel sometimes like I was in one room having a great time talking to people, then hearing uproarious laughter in the room next door. Once I finally made it into that room, the joke was over and though the people were still there, things had moved on. But still, the party's great, right? Life is good.

I have been thinking a lot lately about the difference between "hope" and "expectation". I was actuall talking with my mom last night about this and we basically discussed how expectation, as a rule, is an illusion, a situation or reality that basically can never come true as one imagines. Take the typical New Year's Eve dilemma--oftentimes, people will have expectations of the crazy party they finally decided on, or whatever plan they made, and most of the time, it will go differently (better or worse) and the expectation will probably not be fulfilled. However, hope is far more general and a lot more open-ended. You can hope you have a good time, but you are not expecting a good time, and the stakes become lower, more manageable. My mom suggested that expectations, being so much more personally specific, are driven by the ego, which makes a lot of sense. We also discussed this in acting class, where Brian remarked how he thought it was crazy for actors to come into LA expecting to have a career just open up to them with in a year or two, that things would just work out and all would be great. You can hope things work out, but you certainly need to be patient, certainly need to relax with the expectations so your hope can be maintained. I also think that it's been really interesting how Obama has been using the concept of hope to rally his supporters--it's easier for groups of people to agree on hope than expectations.

Ah, Friday morning thinking.

I have some cool things happening this weekend, but I am going to keep it a secret. Believe me, if it all works out, it's gonna be very, very cool and actually a nice checkmark in my little "to do in my life" book. Should have something to tell you in a few weeks.


What else? Oh, I am reading Pictures at a Revolution by Mark Harris. It's awesome.

Oh, and my uncle Toby just came out with a new book. He's been getting a lot of press on this. Let's see...the book is called Our Story Begins: New and Selected Stories. The press has been incredible. Check out this interview on KQED's Forum and this article from the LA Times Book Review. It's always amazing, really, to reflect on just how amazing a writer he is. It's really been amazing to watch his career and talent and legacy, really, grow as time has gone by. Very inspiring and proof, real proof, that if you just stick to it, you can do what you want.

Okay! two posts at once. I've got a lot of write today so I will end this here. Have a great weekend...

Tags: life, acting, people