Last week, I ended up visiting both of my agencies. My commercial agency was actually bought by another one (I am now represented by Talentworks Los Angeles for commercials; ACME is, as of last Friday, done--check out the press release if you are interested), so I got to go to the new office and sign a bunch of paperwork. (On a sidenote - I am with the same agency as William Shatner! How rad is that?) Suffice to say--I am really excited about 2009.

I’ve talked about it before, but the relationship one has with their agents and manager is just so...specific, you know? I have a small phalanx of great people that are working, hard, to get me auditions. Just getting an agent...I mean, that took awhile, and then it took even longer to find an agent that was able to get me work in the first place. I am incredibly fortunate, really, to have Imperium-7 and Talentworks working with me, it is incredibly humbling.

Anyway, I had a really good meeting with Emily, Brian and Mandy at Talentworks. They have been very supportive and encouraging and have always made me very welcome whenever I come by and say hello. And I was grateful to them for being so great on Friday, to be honest. It’s been a tough year, as you know. I’ve done a lot of work, but most of it was non paying. Great experiences*, sure, but, like, I’m not helping anyone pay their bills, you know? So, when you meet with your agents, there’s this feeling, this overwhelming feeling, of “thank you for being so patient--it will get better, it will!” The fact they kept me on during the move brings me to the title of this entry--it’s validation, it’s trust that this team believes in me and that belief, that support is, really, one of reasons why I keep at this. It’s the main reason, of course, but it’s a big kick in the ass to keep me positive.

All people, but artists and performers in particular, despite their loud protestations, need validation. However, to admit it somehow means that you are weak, that you are doing your art to please other people. And, to some extent, that argument is correct. I act to entertain people (friends and family especially), to make them feel something. If I suck at it, people will not be interested. If they are into it, then there is a degree of validation to my endeavor. To an extent, that validation keeps me going, it makes me work hard to be “better” -- to make more honest choices, to rely less on theatrical tricks, to work in projects that people will want to watch. Validation does not mean “you’ve done it, you’re good” -- it means, “hey, you are on the right path, keep going.”

So whenever I get a nice email from my agent or manager, even a short one, it puts a skip in my step. I know how that sounds--it could very well sound needy and lacking of self confidence. It’s not, trust me. If I was lacking in self-confidence I would be living somewhere else.

Validation has changed, for me, through the years. When I first started out, like, in high school, validation came in the form of laughter and applause. Makes sense; those were first cues that I was getting something right. Then, later, in college, it was more about getting validation from other actors and directors (something that has definitely not gone away (nor will it ever)). When I was doing summer theater way back when, I loved that I could do a show for a bunch of people who didn’t know me--I could just do the show and disappear into the night. There, the validation came from making each show sharper and fuller. In New York, it was all a mix. Now, the validation comes from the feedback and training I am getting in class and, of course, from the others I have discussed above.

Of course, there is overt validation--how many people come to see the show, what reviewers say, etc. Ironically, in my day job, I have the same challenge--the products we release are offered up, for validation, I suppose, to the Mac community and Mac press. I have several press interviews next week to talk about what we are doing and whenever we get a new product out, we are constantly wondering what the product reviews are going to say--the higher the rating, the higher the validation, resulting in credibility in the Mac community and, business wise, increased sales.

We all wrestle with validation and our relationship with it. Every job requires someone to validate how well we are doing. The struggle with growing older is figuring out to compromise the feelings of “I don’t need the validation of someone who doesn’t get it, man” and “Wow, if I do a good job, there will more opportunities”. To accept the value of external validation without compromising your independence and idealism, to enjoy that wrestling match...is that where the wrinkles come from?

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* These are already posted on the web at Enormous Productions, so I feel like it’s okay to talk about them now Remember those spots I did for work? Well, here they are. Hope you like them.

Tags: validation,acting,work